Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I got inside last night via doggy door
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
