i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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