ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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