Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
