I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
