Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
