ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Dear god my vagina.
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