Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Randomize
