She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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