i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
