At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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