As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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