I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
