worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
