I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
