i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
