You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
