my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
