according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
