He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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