i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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