Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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