That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
