So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
