Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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