This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
