Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
