Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
