u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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