i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
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