Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
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