Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
