I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
and you fell through a lawn chair
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
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