i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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