i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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