Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
