I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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