Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
