Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
please come you make the beer taste better
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
