why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
