lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
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