lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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