god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
