He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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