Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
