i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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