Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
