you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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