WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
