Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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