my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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